Spicing things up in the bedroom isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s essential for keeping the flame of desire burning bright in long-term relationships. If you feel like your intimate life could use a little extra zest, don’t worry, you’re definitely not alone and it’s completely normal.
Here’s your go-to guide to adding that extra ‘oomph’ to your bedroom antics. Sit back, relax, and get ready for a deep dive into the world of passion and intimacy, where we explore various tips and tools to keep things exciting.
Communication Is Your Best Friend
Okay, so this might sound like something out of a therapy session, but hear me out. The key to better sex is understanding what both you and your partner want and need. Most people aren’t mind readers, and that’s okay.
Start with an open and honest conversation about your desires, fantasies, and what you might be curious to try out. It might feel a bit awkward at first to discuss what you like or what you want to experiment with, especially if you’re trying to suggest something new, like a ball gag! However, this kind of chat can lead to a better understanding and a lot more fun in the sheets.
Set the Scene
Ambiance can make or break your intimate experiences. Think about it, the right setting can turn a quick car repair into a more pleasant experience; the same goes for your bedroom. Invest in some mood lighting—dimmer switches, colored bulbs, or even smart lights that you can control with your phone can drastically change the vibe of your room.
Throw in some candles for that soft, flickering light and maybe even a playlist that both you and your partner love. It doesn’t have to be the typical Barry White or Marvin Gaye tracks—whatever feels sexy to you, go for it!
Discover Each Other’s Bodies
Exploration is not just for the likes of Magellan or Columbus. Discovering each other’s bodies as if it’s the first time every time can be thrilling. Take turns exploring and touching each other, focusing on the journey rather than the destination.
This could mean slowing things down a bit. Focus on the senses—touch, taste, smell, and sound. Pay attention to how your partner reacts to different types of touch and in different areas. This isn’t just about knowing what they like; it’s about enjoying the act of exploration itself.
Introduce Some Toys
Now, before you dismiss the idea, remember that adult toys are not a replacement for anything but rather an enhancement to the fun. There’s a whole world of toys out there—from vibrators and dildos to bondage kits and more.
The idea is to find something that both of you are comfortable with. Start slow; maybe introduce a small, non-intimidating toy, and see how you both feel about it. Toys can bring a lot of new sensations and experiences into the bedroom, which can be incredibly exciting and refreshing.
Role Play and Fantasies
This can be a huge turn-on and a fun way to engage with each other in a completely different way. Ever fantasized about being a powerful CEO or a superhero saving the day?
Why not bring that into the bedroom? Role-playing can be as simple or as elaborate as you want. You don’t need to go all out with costumes (unless you want to, which can be another layer of fun). Even adopting a new persona or exploring a scenario can be exhilarating.
Keep Educating Yourselves
The world of sexual education is vast and ever-evolving. Read books, watch educational videos, or even take a workshop together.
This could be about techniques, communication skills, or sexual health. Understanding more about your own and your partner’s sexuality can open up new avenues for exploration. Plus, it shows a commitment to not only your partner’s pleasure but also to your own.
Routine Is the Enemy of Passion
It’s easy to fall into a routine, especially if you’ve been with someone for a while. Try to mix things up regularly.
This could mean having sex at different times of the day, trying out new positions, or even changing locations. Ever thought about the kitchen counter or the living room sofa? Changing the ‘where’ can be just as exciting as changing the ‘how’.
Sensual Massage
A massage can be a wonderful way to relax and connect with your partner physically and emotionally. You don’t need to be a trained masseuse to give a soothing massage.
Just a gentle touch and perhaps a special massage oil can turn an ordinary night into a session of pampering and relaxation. Focus on making it a sensual experience, which means being present and attentive to how your partner is feeling throughout.
Maintain a Flirtatious Connection
Flirting isn’t just for the early days of dating; it should be a lifelong affair. Little winks, suggestive texts, or steamy whispers can go a long way in building anticipation and spicing things up.
It’s about keeping that playful spirit alive, reminding each other that you still find them irresistible and exciting.
Invest in Yourself
This might sound a bit off-track, but looking after your physical and mental health can significantly improve your sex life. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, and manage stress. Feeling good about yourself boosts your confidence and energy levels, both of which are attractive qualities that can make you feel more desirable and more in the mood for bedroom fun.
Respect Each Other’s Boundaries
In your quest to spice things up, always remember that mutual consent and comfort are paramount. Never pressure your partner into something they’re not ready for, and always be open to discussing and respecting each other’s boundaries. This respect forms the bedrock of trust and safety that is essential for a fulfilling and adventurous sex life.
Have Fun!
At the end of the day, sex should be fun! If you’re not laughing, giggling, or smiling a lot, then it might be worth thinking about why. Play games, tell jokes, and don’t take yourselves too seriously. Sex is one of the few activities where you really can just let loose and enjoy yourself in the moment.
